


A Caribbean Night's Dream

by txorakeriak



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Genre: Abuse of stage directions, Confuzzled coupling, F/M, HMS Gay, M/M, References to Shakespeare, Stage Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2008170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txorakeriak/pseuds/txorakeriak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The little Caribbean town of Port Royal in the 17th century. Women are laced in. Men are rigid. Marriage is seldom a matter of love. The good news is: There are pirates. And there are curses, tales and spirits.<br/>("Pirates of the Caribbean" meets Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream")</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Caribbean Night's Dream

_The little Caribbean town of Port Royal in the 17th century. Women are laced in. Men are rigid. Marriage is seldom a matter of love.  
The good news is: There are pirates. And there are curses, tales and spirits._

** ACT 1 -Afternoon. **

** SCENE 1: Governor Swann's garden. **

_The garden is decorated with red ribbons and bunches of flowers. Some craftsmen are putting up a tent and a little bar inside of it, others are carrying a huge dining table and chairs to the center of the garden and setting them up near the fountain._

_GOVERNOR WEATHERBY SWANN and MARY enter._

**SWANN:** My dear Mary, our wedding day is drawing near. Four more days and nights of waiting lie before us. If only time were not passing so slowly... _(embraces MARY)_

 **MARY:** _(smiles and squirms modestly out of SWANN’s embrace)_ Oh, these four days and nights will pass more quickly than you may think, my dear Weatherby. Look how far we've come in such a short time!

 **SWANN:** It is indeed strange... _(rubs chin)_ Twenty years have passed since my beloved Agatha died, and I never thought I'd marry again! If I hadn’t met you, my love, I would surely have died a lonely old man.

_Enter COMMODORE NORRINGTON, a worried look on his face._

**NORRINGTON:** I'm sorry to interrupt, Governor, but I must speak with you.

 **SWANN:** Commodore! _(grabs NORRINGTON's hand and shakes it heartily)_ Bringing good news, are you?

_MARY walks away from them but stays near enough to overhear their conversation._

**NORRINGTON:** _(to MARY)_ Good day, madam. _(to SWANN)_ I'm afraid not, sir. There is something deeply worrisome that troubles my thoughts. May I speak frankly?

 **SWANN:** _(with a friendly nod)_ Of course, of course. Go ahead.

 **NORRINGTON:** It’s your daughter, Governor Swann. As you know, she accepted my proposal that afternoon on the _Dauntless_ when we rescued her and that pirate Sparrow from the rum runners‘ island. And now she is refusing to marry me! This blacksmith Turner has bewitched her and stolen her from me!

 **SWANN:** Commodore, you have every right to be vexed. Do not worry, I shall talk to Elizabeth and I hope she will come to her senses, hm? _(smiles)_

 **NORRINGTON:** _(nods)_ Thank you, Governor.

_Exit SWANN and NORRINGTON._

\-------------

** SCENE 2: The governor's library. **

_SWANN is sitting at his desk, a huge bookshelf behind him. In front of him there are WILL TURNER, ELIZABETH SWANN and NORRINGTON, sitting on chairs. WILL is holding ELIZABETH's hand. NORRINGTON is giving them a jealous stare._

**SWANN** : Elizabeth, what are you saying? Commodore Norrington is an upstanding gentleman! A man of honour!

 **ELIZABETH:** So is Will! When those fearful pirates abducted me, he left everything behind and went to rescue me! He had already risked his life for me several times before your precious Commodore finally deemed it advisable to act!

 **WILL:** _(interrupts eagerly)_ Governor Swann, you cannot force her to marry a man she does not love! I'm a good man. And what's even more important: Elizabeth loves me! Does that not give me the right to marry her?

 **SWANN:** _(sighs, to ELIZABETH)_ But you gave your promise to the Commodore, my dear! You're already his! And he does love you!

 **WILL:** That is not true! I saw him last week by the docks, bickering with Jack Sparrow!

 **NORRINGTON:** _(winces, looks terrified)_ That... that...

 **WILL:** _(ignoring NORRINGTON)_ He won the pirate's heart! Since then, Jack has been following him like a puppy! You just have to look at him to see that he adores the Commodore.

 **SWANN:** _(thoughtfully)_ I must confess, I have heard as much...

 **NORRINGTON:** _(stares at SWANN)_ But...

 **SWANN:** _(waves his hand)_ If you would please excuse me, I wish to speak to Elizabeth alone. Oh, and Commodore, please wait in my office, I have received some letters which I want to discuss with you afterwards.

 **NORRINGTON:** Of course, Governor.

_Exit NORRINGTON stiffly, trying not to look at WILL, and WILL confident, smiling._

**ELIZABETH:** I'm so sorry that I caused you all this trouble, father.

 **SWANN:** _(amicably)_  Well, my dear, what do you want? You agreed to marry Commodore Norrington. He is a great officer and he would be an ideal husband for you. You're the best match in Port Royal, so choose well! _(pauses, then finally)_ I've already bought a house for you.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(surprised)_ You have WHAT?

 **SWANN:** Yes, it's a really nice house. _(smiles)_ Big, with a beautiful garden. And a lovely view of the sea! You will like it. _(pauses)_ But I doubt that Mr Turner can afford to maintain it.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(desperately)_ Father, why are you so much against Will? After all that he's done for me?

 **SWANN:** _(sighs)_ What has this blacksmith got to offer you? You won't be happy with him. Commodore Norrington can give you the life you've always wanted! He can make you happy!

 **ELIZABETH:** _(pouts and crosses her arms in front of her chest)_ I'd rather spend the rest of my life in a convent than marry this man!

 **SWANN:** _(sternly)_ I won't let my daughter ruin her life.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(angrily)_ So is it settled then? I shall live and die a virgin and dedicate myself to the mindless praise and worship of the Lord, just because I don't want to marry the man you've chosen for me? _(raises from her chair, runs to the door and slams it behind her)_

 **SWANN:** _(desperately)_ Why does she have to be so stubborn? _(sighs)_

\-------------

** SCENE 3: In the hall.  **

_WILL has been waiting for ELIZABETH by the door to the library and steps towards her when she runs out of the room. He rushes towards her and sees that she is crying._

**WILL:** _(worried)_ My darling, why are you crying? God, you're so pale. Should I get you some water?

 **ELIZABETH:** _(sobbing)_ Why should I not be pale and crying? My father will put me in a convent if I don't marry Commodore Norrington!

 **WILL:** _(reassuringly)_ Don't worry, my love! _(takes her hands in his)_ After all that one hears by tale or history, the course of true love has never run smooth! I know that I have made the right decision. And I will fight for it! _(pulls ELIZABETH close, lowers his voice)_ So listen, my darling. Here's my plan. _(pauses and looks around, sees that nobody is there)_ There's an old widow living in the woods near Port Royal. I've known her since I came here as a little boy and I always used to visit her and do her favours. She is a kind woman who doesn't have any children, and she treats me like her own son...

_The voice of CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW is heard outside._

**JACK:** Commodore! Commodore Norrington!

_Exit WILL and ELIZABETH._

\-------------

** SCENE 4: Outside the governor's mansion. **

_JACK is running to and fro in front of SWANN's mansion, gazing up to the windows._

**JACK:** _(grumbling)_ Where's that blasted window anyway? _(shouts again)_ Commodore!

_NORRINGTON appears in one of the windows and glances down at the street. He notices JACK and winces back immediately. Then the window curtains close._

**JACK:** _(desperately)_ Commodore! 'Tis not nice to turn yer back on me! _(stomps his foot angrily, then moves away from the house and sits under a tree, dejected)_ Why can't I be happy? I'm a good man! An' a pirate, yes, but still better'n most of his Naval chaps... Bloody stiff, that lot! _(pauses)_ So what the hell's wrong wit' me? After all, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! _(pouts)_ An' I have feelings, too. But all that matters are the feelings of bloody pretty 'Lizbeth. Real beauty comes from th'inside, ya ever heard of that?

_Enter WILL and ELIZABETH._

**ELIZABETH:** Jack! _(runs to him, drags WILL after her)_  You must be one of the luckiest pirates in the world to still run free when all of Port Royal is looking for you. _(winks)_

 **JACK:** _(furiously)_ Ya callin' me lucky? Not me, not me. The bonny lass 'erself is lucky with the Commodore givin 'er the eye! _(sighs, depressed)_ 'E doesn't want ol'Jack. _(pauses, then desperately)_ Disease is contagious- why can't favour be as well? I'd catch yers at once. _(whining)_ What are ya doin' to make this damned Norrington fall for ya?

 **ELIZABETH:** _(amicably)_ Jack... It's not my fault that Commodore Norrington wants to marry me!

 **JACK:** _(sarcastically)_ Naaah, never. _(sighs)_ 'Tis just yer beauty that makes 'im so blind. Wish this fault were mine. I could live wit' that.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(soothingly)_ Jack, there is no need to fret. I won't stay here a day longer. Will and I are going to leave this town for good.

 **JACK:** _(frowns)_ Ya serious?

 **WILL:** _(nods excitedly)_ Don't you tell anyone! It's a secret! But yes, we will escape - this very night!

 **ELIZABETH:** We have to! Will knows an old woman who lives in the woods. We'll stay with her.

_A window opens and SWANN is looking on the street, but he can't see ELIZABETH because she is shielded by a large tree._

**SWANN:** _(shouts from the window)_ Elizabeth! Where are you?

 **ELIZABETH:** _(winces, to JACK)_ Goodbye, Jack! And good luck! _(to WILL)_ Don't forget! The docks, eleven o'clock tonight!

 **WILL:** I'll be there. _(kisses ELIZABETH)_ Until then, my darling.

 **ELIZABETH:** Until then. _(runs towards the house)_

_Exit ELIZABETH._

**WILL:** _(to Jack)_ Hope you will get lucky with the Commodore, my friend! Goodbye!

_Exit WILL._

**JACK:** Bloody hell. Don't get yer 'opes up... _(sighs helplessly and looks up to the office window again, clearly suffering)_

\-------------

** ACT 2 - Night. **

** SCENE 1: Pintel's and Ragetti's cabin on board of the _Black Pearl_. **

_The_ Black Pearl _has dropped anchor at the coast near the woods. RAGETTI is alone in the fo'c'sle, a small room with lots of hammocks, a flickering lantern, a big padlocked sea chest in the corner and a little window. He is sitting cross-legged on his hammock, cuddling a monkey._

_Enter PINTEL._

**PINTEL:** _(growls)_ I knew I'd find ya in 'ere with tha' blasted creature.

 **RAGETTI:** _(giggling)_ Jealous?

 **PINTEL:** _(gives RAGETTI a jealous look)_ Shouldn't ya be cuddlin' me?

 **RAGETTI:** But I can't cuddle the monkey then, can I?

 **PINTEL:** _(grumbles and slaps RAGETTI on the back of his head)_

_RAGETTI's eye pops out._

**RAGETTI:** _(pouts)_ Ouch! 'T hurts! _(lifts his hand to rub his eye and notices it's not there anymore)_ Me eye! _(jumps from the bed and looks for his eye on the floor, finds it after a while and puts it back in)_ Why are ya always mad wit' me?

 **PINTEL:** 'Tis yer own fault for startin' it! Now give me tha' damn monkey!

 **RAGETTI:** _(presses the monkey against him)_ No! 'E's all alone! No mummy, no daddy! 'E needs a friend, tha' poor thingie. Ya won't take 'im away!

 **MONKEY:** _(squeaks and clutches to RAGETTI)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(rises and goes to the door)_

 **PINTEL:** Where are ya goin'?

 **RAGETTI:** If ya promise not to argue wit' me anymo', ya can come wit' me on deck to join the party.

 **PINTEL:** Give me the stupid monkey and I'll come wit' ya!

 **RAGETTI:** _(getting angry)_ Then ya bloody stay here! _(rushes out and slams the door)_

_PINTEL goes to the chest and opens it. After a while, he fishes out a worn brass lamp and starts rubbing it._

**PINTEL:** _(grumbling)_ I'll make ya pay fer tha'! _(to the lamp)_ Come out!

 **DJINN:** _(appears from the lamp, bows)_

 **PINTEL:** I need ya t'help me!

 **DJINN:** _(calm)_ Methinks I can, my master. I remember  
Since once I sat upon a promontory,  
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back  
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath  
That the rude sea grew civil at her song  
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres,  
To hear the sea-maid's music.

 **PINTEL:** _(interrupts impatiently)_ Would ya come to the bloody point?

 **DJINN:** That very time I saw, but thou couldst not,  
Flying between the cold moon and the earth,  
Cupid all arm'd: a certain aim he took  
At a fair vestal throned by the west,  
And loosed his love-shaft smartly from his bow,  
As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts;  
But I might see young Cupid's fiery shaft  
Quench'd in the chaste beams of the watery moon,  
And the imperial votaress passed on,  
In maiden meditation, fancy-free.  
Yet mark'd I where the bolt of Cupid fell:  
It fell upon a little western flower,  
Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound,  
And maidens call it love-in-idleness.  
I'll fetch you that flower; the herb I found there once:  
The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid  
Will make or man or woman madly dote  
Upon the next live creature that it sees.

 **PINTEL:** _(looks a little confused but after a while he understands and nods)_ Great idea, tha'! Why are ya still 'ere then? Move! An' make it fast!

 **DJINN:** _(bows and vanishes into the lamp)_

 **PINTEL:** _(puts the lamp in his pocket, then sits on his bed, grinning)_ Beware, scoundrel! When ya go to sleep, I'll use tha' flower on ya! And ya'll go mad fo' the first thing ya see! _(giggles)_

_PINTEL hears voices outside the window, looks out._

**PINTEL:** _(to himself)_ Sparrow! Thought 'e was dead! And who's the other? I'll better check tha'! _(leaves the room and goes to the rail where he can see them)_

_Exit PINTEL._

\-------------

** SCENE 2: The woods. **

_A little clearing in the woods near Port Royal. A little path leads to the shore, another leads back to the town. If it were day, the pirate ship could be seen through the leaves of the trees. PINTEL has a good view on what's happening at the clearing._

_Enter NORRINGTON and JACK running after him._

**NORRINGTON:** _(extremely annoyed)_ I am not interested in anything you have to offer, Mr Sparrow! Go away! _(stops and looks around)_ Where is Miss Swann? And where is the blacksmith? You said they would be here! _(gives JACK an angry look)_ Cat got your tongue, pirate? Where are they? Are they really here or was that another one of your lies? _(furiously)_ Make yourself scarce, you - you... thing! _(pushes JACK away)_ And desist from following me!

 **JACK:** _(desperately)_ But ya make me, Commodore! I can't do nothin' but goin' after ya! _(grabs his hand and looks at him pleadingly)_

 **NORRINGTON:** _(pulls his hand back in disgust, then shouts at JACK angrily)_ Do I entice you? Am I friendly to you? Or do I not rather tell you over and over again that I want nothing to do with you? _(insisting)_ Not everybody has your low morals! I do not and cannot love you _(taps his forehead)_ \- I don't even like you! You're a filthy and dissolute creature and you deserve nothing but to be hanged!

 **JACK:** _(sighs)_ And fer tha' honesty, I love ya the more! The more ya beat me, I shall fawn on ya, jus' like a doggy! Neglect me, ignore me - but only let me follow ya, even tho' I'm not worth it, bein' a pirate an' all.

 **NORRINGTON:** _(furiously)_ Do not encourage my wrath, Mr Sparrow. The mere sight of you makes me ill.

 **JACK:** An' I get ill when I can't see you!

 **NORRINGTON:** You dare too much! _(threateningly)_ In case you are not aware oft he fact, you are currently alone. There's no one to help you. Keep in mind, however addled your mind may be, how easily I could I arrest you, right here and now.

 **JACK:** Ya wouldn't do tha'. 'Tis no fair. And I got the impression that yer kinda obsessed wit' fairness, aren't ya, Commodore? _(gives NORRINGTON a smirk)_ So I'm quite safe here, don't ya think? And ya really can't say that I'm alone 'ere, mate. _(flourishes his hands)_ I see company of an outstandin' quality right in front o'me!

 **NORRINGTON:** Then I shall remove myself from your presence and leave you to the mercy of wild beasts.

 **JACK:** Ah, but ya see, Commodore, the wildest of 'em has a better 'eart than yerself! _(pauses, then shrugs)_ So run then, but the story's changed. _(grinning)_ The sparrow's chasin' the hawk now!

 **NORRINGTON:** Keep up this charade and you will end up dead, Sparrow. This unnatural and immoral predisposition of yours tends to get men hanged more often than not.

 **JACK:** Tha's CAPTAIN Sparrow to ya, savvy? An' don't ya think ya could scare me wit' tha'. I've faced death mo' often than ya can imagine. _(gesturing)_ Still, I'd rather die by those pretty hands of yers than by the hands of anybody else! Know tha'.

 **NORRINGTON:** _(stares at JACK, appalled, then runs away)_ Leave me alone!

 **JACK:** Never! _(runs after NORRINGTON)_

_Exit NORRINGTON and JACK._

**PINTEL:** Jack's not supposed to suffer like tha'! 'E's ne'er done me any wrong. I done 'im wrong! Jus' wait, mate, I'll help ya! _(takes the lamp out of his pocket)_

 **DJINN:** _(appears, bows)_

 **PINTEL:** Now, ya have it?

 **DJINN:** _(gives PINTEL a red flower with three calyxes)_ Aye, there it is.

 **PINTEL:** Oh, good! Now. _(picks one calyx off and hands the rest to DJINN)_ Take this an' go to the woods. Me former captain's in love wit' a terrible man. Doin' nothin' but humiliatin', tha' damned bloke! Change him wit' the flower! Ya will know who he is by the fine breeches an' the stockings he's wearin'. An' come back soon after!

 **DJINN:** Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so. _(bows and leaves)_

_Exit DJINN and PINTEL._

\-------------

** Scene 3: On deck of the _Black Pearl_. **

_The pirates are having a big party. They are drinking rum, talking, laughing and dancing - and some are already too drunk and just lying somewhere. RAGETTI is sitting on the floor, leaning against a barrel, a bottle of rum in his hands and talking to TWIGG and KOEHLER._

**KOEHLER:** We got 'nough swag 'n our holds to 'njoy ourselves ev'ry day, mates!

 **TWIGG:** Aye, thanks to our great captain!

 **KOEHLER:** Ah, 'tis a marvel to be sailin' under Barbossa's command! 'E makes us rich! An' 'e doesn't care 'bout the mess! _(laughs)_

 **RAGETTI:** Rather the opposite, innit? _(chuckles)_  An' Sparrow was always keepin' us from ev'rythin' tha' looked like fun, tha' spoilsport.

 **TWIGG:** _(slaps Ragetti)_ Don't ya talk 'bout 'im, ya stupid idiot!

 **RAGETTI:** _(lifts his hand quickly to his eye to keep it from popping out)_ Eh, careful 'bout me eye!

 **KOEHLER:** _(to TWIGG)_ Should've killed 'im when we met 'im 'n the brig, mate. 'T was a bad idea to leave 'im there. Nothin' but trouble wit' 'im.

 **TWIGG:** Aye, 'tis true. But we owe 'im what we are now, can't forget tha'.

 **RAGETTI:** No, we owe the monkey 'ere. An' Barbossa. 'E made tha' deal with the 'Eathen Gods there! An' now we're invincible but without those damned side effects of the curse! _(smiles)_ 'Tis like bein' an angel. 'Xcept fo' the wings. _(grins broadly)_

 **KOEHLER:** _(rolls his eyes)_ Shut up, ya blockhead.

 **RAGETTI:** But 'tis true!

 **TWIGG:** We're no angels, we're the scourge o' the devil, the infernal brethren! The whole Caribbean's scared o' us! Now shut yer gob or I'll muzzle ya! _(stands up)_ C'mon, mate, let's get some mo' rum 'ere!

_Exit TWIGG and KOEHLER._

**RAGETTI:** _(cuddles the monkey)_ Yer a nice mate, monkey. No slappin' me, no bein' mad wit' me, jus' cuddlin'. And ya saved us! _(pats the monkey)_

 **MONKEY:** _(squeaks)_

 **RAGETTI:** Aye, 'tis pretty late. Ragetti's tired, too. _(yawns)_ Let's get some sleep, hm? _(closes his eyes and falls asleep soon after)_

 **MONKEY:** _(escapes from RAGETTI's clutch and runs across the deck)_

_Enter PINTEL._

**PINTEL:** _(grinning)_ Ah, without tha' bloody monkey this time? _(steps towards Ragetti with the flower in his hand)_ I'll take care of ya... _(giggles)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(groans)_

 **PINTEL:** _(squeezes the flower and makes the liquid drop on RAGETTI's eyelids)_ When ya wake up, yer new love will stand before ya! Whatever 'tis! _(laughs)_

_Exit PINTEL._

\-------------

** Scene 4: The woods. **

_WILL and ELIZABETH are following a little path in the woods, not far from the clearing._

**WILL:** _(panting)_ Hold on, Elizabeth! I suppose we have taken the wrong turn.

 **ELIZABETH:** Oh no!

 **WILL:** I'm afraid it's true. I can't remember that clearing. But you seem a little tired. I suggest we rest here a bit.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(kisses WILL)_ That's a good idea. There is no use in walking through the woods in the dark. You can't see a thing. It's no surprise we lost the way.

 **WILL:** _(kisses ELIZABETH back & holds her tight)_

 **ELIZABETH:** _(laughs squirms in his arms until he lets her go)_ Will! Where has your sense of propriety gone? _(winks)_ I shall find myself a place to sleep now, you should go and do the same.

 **WILL:** I shall!

_ELIZABETH looks around, searching for a place to sleep. After a while she finds a little den and lies down there. WILL chooses a small moss-covered hill close to a bush._

**WILL:** Good night, Elizabeth!

 **ELIZABETH:** Good night, Will!

_They sleep._

_Enter DJINN._

**DJINN:** _(looking around)_ Through the forest have I gone.  
But love-blind fellow found I none,  
On whose eyes I might approve  
This flower's force in stirring love.  
Night and silence. _(sees WILL)_ Who is here?  
Breeches, stockings he doth wear:  
This is he, my master said,  
Despised the - pirate captain maid? _(frowns, then shrugs)_  
Well, then, a maiden, sleeping sound,  
On the dank and dirty ground.  
Pretty soul! she durst not lie  
Near this lack-love, this kill-courtesy.  
Churl, upon thy eyes I throw  
All the power this charm doth owe. _(drops the liquid of the flower on WILL's eyelids)_  
When thou wakest, let love forbid  
Sleep his seat on thy eyelid:  
So when you wake you see your girl;  
For I must now to the _Black Pearl_.

_Exit DJINN._

_Enter NORRINGTON, still followed by JACK._

**NORRINGTON:** _(annoyed)_ For god's sake, Sparrow, will you refrain from following me?

 **JACK:** Ah, but I can't leave ya here in the dark. 'Tis common courtesy, mate! And CAPTAIN, in case ya forgot.

 **NORRINGTON:** _(sighs)_ I don't want any of your courtesy, _(emphasizing)_ Captain. _(glances around, suddenly makes a decision)_ Fine, you are welcome to stay here. I shall go alone.

_Exit NORRINGTON._

**JACK:** _(unhappy)_ Oh, 'tis gettin' worse and worse. The more I beg, the lesser I get. _(groaning)_ Wish I was happy 'Lizbeth, wherever she is, that blasted lass - an' so pretty an' charming. Ev'rybody wants 'er. Not like ol'Jack 'ere, ugly as a bear. Even the beasts of the wood run away from me. _(suddenly sees WILL lying there)_ God, Will! Are ya sleepin' or are ya dead? _(examines his body)_ No blood there, no wound. _(shakes WILL)_ Wake up, lad!

 **WILL:** _(awakening)_ Jack! _(smiles)_ Oh, I'd do even more to make you happy! _(suddenly angry)_ Where is the Commodore, that bastard? I will kill him!

 **JACK:** _(shocked, puts his hand on WILL's mouth to shut him up)_ There, there, don't speak like tha', mate! 'E loves yer 'Lizbeth, so what? Ya should be happy! She wants yerself after all!

 **WILL:** _(astonished, laughing)_ What? Happy with Elizabeth? Are you mad? I regret every single minute I have spent with her!

 **JACK:** _(stares at him, puzzled)_ Will, lad, are ya alright? Ya do love yer 'Lizbeth, don't ya?

 **WILL:** _(disgusted)_ I don't love Elizabeth! Whoever said that? No! _(smiles fondly at JACK)_ My heart belongs to you, Jack!

 **JACK:** _(still staring at him, now shocked because he hadn't expected WILL to mock him)_

 **WILL:** How could I not change a raven for a dove, Jack?

 **JACK:** _(hurt)_ Why are ya doin' this, Turner, lad? _(sighs sadly)_ Has ol'Jack not paid 'is dues already? Is 't not enough tha' I can ne'er take me Jamie in me arms, let alone get a smile from 'im?

 **WILL:** _(looks at JACK, astonished, doesn't know what to say)_

 **JACK:** So, tell me, do I deserve your mockery as well? Really now, I'd expected ya to be more decent than tha'. Wha' wit' bein' the son of ol'Bootstrap - decent 'til the end, tha' 'e was, 'til 'is decency got 'im killed - but tha's another story. Yerself, though, ya do go by the code, eh? No honour amongst thieves? _(gives him a hurt look, then runs away)_

_Exit JACK._

**WILL:** _(gets up hurriedly, runs to ELIZABETH who's still sleeping)_ He didn't see her! _(to ELIZABETH)_ Stay right here and sleep! You won't see me anymore! I am Jack's now and I'll make him happy! _(runs away)_

_Exit WILL._

**ELIZABETH:** _(tosses and turns, evidently plagued by nightmares, suddenly wakes up)_ Oh, Will, I had such a terrible dream! Look how I'm shaking... _(searches for WILL but can't see him)_ ... in fear... _(getting more and more insecure and frightened)_ Will? Where are you? _(desperately)_ Will!!

\-------------

** ACT 3 - Midnight. **

** SCENE 1: On board the _Black Pearl_. **

_The festivities are coming to an end, nearly everybody is drunk, except for BO'SUN, who was told to keep a sharp eye on the ship and the beach during the night. He is standing near the bow, gazing into the darkness. RAGETTI is sleeping against a barrel, not far from BO'SUN on guard._

_Enter DJINN, unseen by BO'SUN._

_DJINN puts a glistening golden crown on a barrel near BO'SUN, then he hides behind another barrel, watching him. BO'SUN turns around, sees the crown, goes to the barrel and puts the crown on his head. DJINN comes up behind BO'SUN and blows some fairy dust on him and on the barrel, whose cover changes to a mirror. BO'SUN looks in it and sees himself wearing the crown. He is very impressed and starts parading proudly. DJINN giggles and puts a piece of wood in BO'SUN's way, BO'SUN falls over it, drops to the floor with a loud thud and loses the crown, which was enchanted and caused the growth of big donkey ears on BO'SUN's head._

_Enter GRAPPLE, furious._

**GRAPPLE:** Ya idiot, ya were supposed t' watch over the deck an' not t' wake... _(sees BO'SUN's donkey ears, frightened)_ A curse! We're haunted again!

 **BO'SUN:** _(perplexed)_ Wha'?

 **GRAPPLE:** _(pointing at him, horror on his face)_ Ya 'ave changed! Ya 'ave transformed! What do I see on ya!? _(lost for words)_

 **BO'SUN:** _(gets angry, makes a face, strangely resembling a donkey)_ Seein' yer own asshead, are ya? _(slaps him)_

 **GRAPPLE:** _(runs away in fear)_

_Exit GRAPPLE._

**BO'SUN:** _(stamps on the ground, angrily)_ Stinkin' son of a jenny! Makin' an ass of me all the time!

_RAGETTI wakes up from the sound. He groans, smirks, then raises his head and opens his eyes drowsily. The first thing he sees is BO'SUN, just trying to stand up again. And RAGETTI, in turn, seems really pretty in BO'SUN's eyes now..._

**RAGETTI:** Must be an' angel awakenin' me! Jes' go on swearin', luv, sounds like music in me ears! _(smiles and gets up, steps towards BO'SUN)_

 **BO'SUN:** _(confused)_ Wha'?

 **RAGETTI:** _(cuddles close to BO'SUN)_ Aww, yer so precious when yer angry.

 **BO'SUN:** _(blushes)_ I am?

 **RAGETTI:** Ya 'ave got one of the sweetest angry looks on ya. _(solemnly)_ I luv ya so much.

 **BO'SUN:** _(frowns)_ Ya 'ave li'l reason fer tha', mate. I've always treated ya bad. _(pauses, then smiling)_ But reason an' luv don't have much t' do wit' each other, do they? An' me's sorry fer the slaps. _(looks fondly at RAGETTI)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(smiles)_ Yer so nice t'me! An' sweet! An' yer sayin' such beautiful things.

 **BO'SUN:** _(blushes again)_ Thank ya. Tho I don't think...

 **RAGETTI:** _(caresses his arm)_ 'T would be better t'go t'bed, wouldn't 't? Ya look tired, me darlin'.

 **BO'SUN:** Aye, 'm really sleepy now. _(yawns)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(takes his arm)_ I'll come wit ya to yer cabin an' watch over yer sleep!

_Exit BO'SUN and RAGETTI._

\-------------

** Scene 2: Pintel's and Ragetti's cabin on board of the _Black Pearl_. **

_PINTEL is sitting on his hammock, the lamp in his hand, waiting._

**PINTEL:** _(scratching his chin)_ Wonderin' whether Ragetti's woken up. An' what 'e saw first. _(pauses, then angrily)_ An' where tha' flea-infested monkey is. Can't find 'im nowhere. Bloody nuisance.

_Enter DJINN._

**PINTEL:** _(excited)_ Now, did it work?

 **DJINN:** _(bows, a big grin on his face)_ Ragetti with a monster is in love.  
Near to his close and consecrated barrel,  
While he was sleeping despite the peril,  
A big black bo'sun took a break,  
When I did him at this advantage take,  
An ass's nole I fixed on his head;  
And in that moment, so it came to pass,  
Ragetti waked and straightway loved an ass.

 **PINTEL:** _(snorts and starts laughing)_ 'T turns out better than I 'xpected! _(then, suddenly serious)_ Have ya also treated tha' bloke who makes me former captain unhappy?

 **DJINN:** I took him sleeping,--that is finish'd too,--  
And the most beautiful woman by his side:  
That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.

 **PINTEL:** _(frowns)_ A woman, ya say? Well, wit' the 'air an' all… _(hears a voice from outside the window, looks out, then runs out of the room, taking the lamp with him)_

_Exit PINTEL and DJINN._

\-------------

** Scene 3: The woods. **

_The same clearing that can be overseen from the_ Black Pearl _. PINTEL and DJINN are standing at the rail, overhearing the conversation between ELIZABETH and NORRINGTON who have just entered the scene._

 **ELIZABETH:** _(crying, running after NORRINGTON)_ What have you done to him? What has happened to Will?

 **NORRINGTON:** _(annoyed, as if he had been saying it over and over again already)_ I have not seen Mr Turner since our conversation with the Governor.

 **ELIZABETH:** Have you killed him? If you have, then you may kill me as well!

 **NORRINGTON:** Don't be ridiculous!

 **PINTEL:** _(from the rail of the_ Black Pearl _, to DJINN)_ Tha's the fellow.

 **DJINN:** _(shakes his head)_ This is the woman, but not this the man.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(desperately)_ Then where is he? Has he stolen away while I was sleeping?

 **PINTEL:** _(gives DJINN a grim look)_

 **DJINN:** _(winces, looks contritely at PINTEL)_

 **ELIZABETH:** Commodore, please! Give him back to me!

 **NORRINGTON:** _(dryly)_ If I knew where young Mr Turner was, I would take him back to Mr Brown's smithy, as that is where he belongs.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(furiously)_ Have you killed him then? Murdered him ruthlessly while he was sleeping? And disposed of his body? _(sarcastically)_ Oh, what a brave man!

 **NORRINGTON:** _(rolls eyes)_ Miss Swann, your energy is utterly wasted on this. I have not killed the blacksmith and I doubt that he is dead anyway.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(sobs, then pleading)_ Then tell me, is he well?

 **NORRINGTON:** And if I could, would you marry me in exchange for the information? _(steps towards ELIZABETH and puts his hand on her cheek, a sad look in his eyes)_ What should I get therefore?

 **ELIZABETH:** _(angry, shouting at NORRINGTON)_ A privilege to never see me again! _(slaps him)_ How dare you? _(runs away)_

_Exit ELIZABETH._

**NORRINGTON:** _(rubs his cheek)_ There is no following her in this fierce mood. I think I'll stay here and get some sleep. _(lies down and falls asleep)_

 **PINTEL:** _(to DJINN, angrily)_ What 'ave ya done!? 'ave ya mistaken 'em an' put the juice on the wrong eye then? A true-luv's eye?

 **DJINN:** _(looks guilty)_

 **PINTEL:** Then go through the woods an' look for the captain - the true one with the beads 'n his 'air an' the red scarf an' the manly bits in 'is trousers! - an' bring 'im there at once, will ya? An' put tha' juice on the eye of the Commodore 'ere first!

 **DJINN:** I go, I go; look how I go,  
Swifter than arrow from the Tartar's bow.  
_(goes to NORRINGTON and squeezes the red flower so that its liquid drips on NORRINGTON's eyelids)_  
Flower of this purple dye,  
Hit with Cupid's archery,  
Sink in apple of his eye.  
When his true love he doth see,  
Let him shine as gloriously  
As the Venus of the sky.  
When thou wakest, if he be by,  
Beg of him for remedy. _(vanishes into the woods)_

_Exit DJINN._

\-------------

** Scene 4: Same place. **

_After a short time, DJINN comes back. The voices of JACK and WILL can be heard from the clearing._

**DJINN:** _(to PINTEL)_ Master of our fairy band,  
Captain Jack Sparrow's here at hand;  
And the youth, mistook by me,  
Pleading for a lover's fee.  
Shall we their fond pageant see?  
Lord, what fools these mortals be! _(chuckles)_

_Enter WILL and JACK._

**WILL:** _(desperately running after JACK)_ How can this seem like mockery to you? I'm serious! Jack! _(holds him and looks him in the eyes)_ What can I do to prove it?

 **JACK:** _(growling)_ Yer advancin' yer cunnin' more and more, lad. Don't ya know that yer cheatin' on 'Lizbeth? Ya swore 'er fidelity – ya swore ev'rythin' to 'er! 'ave ya fergotten tha'?

 **WILL:** I had no judgement when I swore to her. I must have been mad. _(holds JACK's arm)_

 **JACK:** _(pushes WILL away)_ Me rather thinks ya have no judgement now! _(shouting at him)_ So shut the 'ell up an' go back to yer 'Lizbeth! Savvy?

 **WILL:** _(sighs)_ Why won't you accept my love and allow us to be happy? Not for Norrington's sake, surely? The Commodore loves Elizabeth. Not you. Get it into your head, Jack!

 **JACK:** _(glares at him, furious)_

_All that JACK wants now is to escape this place and WILL's apparent mockery. As he tries desperately to make out a path from the clearing, he stumbles over a root and falls right on top of NORRINGTON, who awakes at the contact and opens his eyes._

**NORRINGTON:** _(suddenly intoxicated)_ Jack? _(clasps JACK and holds him tight)_ Oh, Jack! My love! _(looks at his face)_ Oh, you beautiful creature! You divine being! With eyes as deep as the ocean and those lips... oh, your lips are so smooth and tempting _(runs a finger over JACK's lips)_ , I can't believe I never noticed before. I can hardly control myself! _(bends over to kiss JACK but doesn't get that far)_

 **WILL:** _(pulls JACK away from NORRINGTON)_ Jack!

 **JACK:** _(unhappy)_ Oh, bloody hell! I see, yer all 'njoyin' this! Yer all set against me an' makin' fun of me. If ya were the upstandin' gentlemen tha' I took ya for, ya wouldn't do this t'me! Throw me in the brig, hang me, aye, but ya wouldn't make me suffer like this an' laugh about it! Come t'yer senses! Yer both runnin' after pretty 'Lizbeth! 'Tis enough already! _(drops to the ground and hides his face in his hands)_

 **WILL:** _(to NORRINGTON)_ Now you're playing false, Commodore. You're in love with Elizabeth. So go and marry her! I set her free, she's all yours. But don't you touch Jack!

_Enter ELIZABETH, her clothes torn and dirty, but her face lights up as she sees WILL._

**ELIZABETH:** Will! I'm so glad I found you! How could you have left me alone?

 **JACK:** _(stands up and stares at ELIZABETH)_

 **WILL:** _(shields JACK so that NORRINGTON can't reach him)_ How could I have stayed when my love pulled me away?

 **ELIZABETH:** _(astonished)_ What are you talking about?

 **NORRINGTON:** _(pushes WILL away and takes JACK's hand)_

 **WILL:** _(angrily)_ Why are you following me? I hate you, and therefore I could not stay with you! Get that into your stubborn head!

 **JACK:** _(sarcastically)_ Ah, so she's a part of yer pretty little game, too? _(lets go of NORRINGTON's hand to wave a finger at ELIZABETH)_ I bloody saved yer life, 'Lizbeth! An' this is how ya thank me? Or have ya forgotten all tha' already? _(hurt)_

 **ELIZABETH:** _(stares at JACK, not knowing what to say)_ I... I...

 **JACK:** _(waves his hand, sarcastically)_ Well, ta muchly. 'M really 'njoyin' meself 'ere!

 **ELIZABETH:** _(stuttering)_ Jack, I... I really don't know what you're talking about!

 **JACK:** Ah, ya don't! Well, go on then wit' yer counterfeit sad looks an' laugh at me when I turn me back! If ya had, dearest Miss Swann, a li'l pity, grace or manners, ya wouldn't do this. _(sighs)_ But 'tis partly me own fault. _(rises)_

 **WILL:** _(grabs JACK's arm, solemnly)_ Jack, I love you! Upon my life, I really do!

 **JACK:** _(pulls his arm out of WILL's grasp, groaning)_ Oh, wonderful!

 **ELIZABETH:** _(to WILL, nonplussed)_ Darling what's gotten into you? Stop mocking him!

 **JACK:** _(angrily)_ An' yerself as well, Lizbeth!

_Exit JACK._

**NORRINGTON:** _(runs after JACK)_

_Exit NORRINGTON._

**WILL:** _(wants to run after them but ELIZABETH is standing in his way)_

 **ELIZABETH:** _(desperately)_ Will! Listen to me! What are you doing? I'm your Elizabeth, am I not?

 **WILL:** _(yelling at ELIZABETH)_ I don't want to see you ever again! It's no joke that I hate you and that I love Jack Sparrow! Do I make myself clear this time?

_Exit WILL._

**ELIZABETH:** _(starts crying again and looks at WILL, speechless, then she runs after the others)_

_Exit ELIZABETH._

\-------------

** ACT 4 - Morning. **

** SCENE 1: A path near the clearing. **

_JACK is sitting on a stone, NORRINGTON is holding him close, dabbing a wound on his knee with a piece of cloth._

_Enter ELIZABETH and WILL behind her._

**ELIZABETH:** _(shouts at JACK)_ You dirty pirate! You scoundrel! You thief of love! You've come here on purpose, to steal my lover's heart from me! Admit it!

 **JACK:** _(angrily to ELIZABETH)_ Don't ya have any modesty? No maiden's shame? I've had 'nough of ya, infuriating puppet, I really do!

 **ELIZABETH:** _(stares at him)_ Puppet, you say? Ah, that's the way the game goes! Just because you're envious of me being a woman with soft skin and silky golden hair you are stirring up hatred against me!

 **JACK:** _(laughs)_ Envious? I don't want yer skin nor yer hair! I'm fine wit' me own, ta very much. Wouldn't want t' be treated like a doll!

 **ELIZABETH:** Oh, here it goes again! A puppet, a doll... I may seem weak, but my nails can still reach your eyes, pirate! _(runs towards him, prepared to attack him)_

 **WILL:** _(tries to hold her back)_

 **JACK:** _(gets up and puts a hand on ELIZABETH's arm)_ Calm down, 'Lizbeth. I never wronged ya, savvy? Save tha' I told the Commodore tha' ya'd be here in these woods. 'E followed ya, I followed 'im. A lot of good that did me, too. 'E spurned me, cursed me an' even threatened me with death. I'll go back to Port Royal, am royally fed up wit' all o' yers!

 **ELIZABETH:** Well, go then. What's keeping you here?

 **JACK:** A foolish 'eart that I leave 'ere behind.

 **ELIZABETH:** _(angry)_ What, with Will?

 **JACK:** _(sighs)_ With Commodore Norrington, ya stupid cow!

 **NORRINGTON:** _(smiles happily and embraces JACK)_

 **WILL:** _(gives NORRINGTON a jealous eye)_ Follow me, Commodore, if you dare! Then we shall see whose right it is to be with Jack, yours or mine! _(steps towards him)_

 **NORRINGTON:** _(laughs)_ Follow you? I would never follow you, blacksmith! I'll go right with you! _(pulls WILL with him)_

_Exit NORRINGTON and WILL._

**ELIZABETH:** _(sits on a stone, sighs)_ It's all your fault, Jack.

 **JACK:** _(rises)_

 **ELIZABETH:** _(surprised)_ Why don't you stay?

 **JACK:** I don't trust ya, is all. An' I'd rather be alone now than in yer company, after all ya 'ave done.

_Exit JACK._

**ELIZABETH:** _(sighs)_ I really don't know what to say. _(rises)_

_Exit ELIZABETH._

**PINTEL:** _(on the rail, to DJINN, angrily)_ That's all yer fault! Look what ya 'ave done! _(pauses and looks at DJINN suspiciously)_ Or was it on purpose?

 **DJINN:** _(hastily)_ Believe me, king of shadows, I mistook.  
Did not you tell me I should know the man  
By the stockings and breeches had on?

 **PINTEL:** _(shrugs)_ Hm. Bootstrap's son an' tha' bloody Commodore plan t'fight. An' while I wouldn't mind if Norrington got a good thrashin', I doubt tha' whelp is able to give it to 'im. So go an' look tha' they miss each other's blows an' don't get hurt!

 **DJINN:** _(nods obediently)_ Till o'er their brows death-counterfeiting sleep  
With leaden legs and batty wings doth creep:  
I will get the other flower,  
From far away, a secret bower,  
To cure Will Turner's blinded eye;  
Whose liquor hath this virtuous property,  
To take from thence all error with his might,  
And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.  
When they next wake, all this derision  
Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision,  
Back to Port Royal shall the lovers wend,  
With league whose date till death shall never end.

 **PINTEL:** Good! An' fetch me tha' remedy, too. I'll find the bloody monkey an' kill him an' then I'll release tha' pain in the ass Ragetti.

 **DJINN:** _(bows and vanishes into the lamp)_

_Exit DJINN._

\-------------

** Scene 2: Deep within the woods. **

_WILL and NORRINGTON have prepared themselves for a fight. They've polished their swords and practiced a few steps and blows. Now they are looking for each other._

_Enter DJINN._

**DJINN:** _(flying through the tops of the trees, singing)_ Up and down, up and down,  
I will lead them up and down:  
I am fear'd in field and town:  
Goblin, lead them up and down.  
Here comes one.

_Enter WILL._

**WILL:** _(anxious to fight)_ Where are you now, proud and brave Commodore?

 **DJINN:** _(from behind a bush, with NORRINGTON's voice)_ I'm here, drawn and ready! But where are you?

 **WILL:** _(runs towards the bush, his sword in the air)_ I'll get you at once!

 **DJINN:** Follow me, then, To plainer ground.

_Exit WILL._

_Enter NORRINGTON._

**NORRINGTON:** _(fiercely, moving his sword before him)_ Mr Turner, speak again! Or have you fled in fear? You coward!

 **DJINN:** _(from behind a bush, with WILL's voice)_ You're the coward! All you're doing is telling me that you want to fight, but where are you now? Hiding behind a bush?

 **NORRINGTON:** _(angry)_ Ah, there you are! Now pay attention, I shall teach you swordplay!

 **DJINN:** Follow my voice: we'll try no manhood here.

_Exit NORRINGTON._

_Enter WILL._

**WILL:** _(panting)_ He goes before me and still dares me on - and when I come to where I hear his voice, he's not there. This coward is flying faster than I can follow him. It makes no sense.

 **DJINN:** _(blows fairy dust on WILL to make him tired)_

 **WILL:** _(yawns)_ I'm tired. I'll sleep here. _(lies down on the ground and falls asleep)_

_Enter NORRINGTON, but he is running after DJINN's voice so he can't see WILL._

**DJINN:** _(with WILL's voice)_ Come here, you coward! I am here!

 **NORRINGTON:** _(angry)_ You will pay for this, Turner! As soon as I lay my hands on you, you shall make acquaintance with Port Royal's gaol! On my word!

 **DJINN:** _(blows fairy dust on NORRINGTON)_

 **NORRINGTON:** _(yawns)_ But not tonight. I'm feeling tired. _(lies down and falls asleep)_

_Enter ELIZABETH, still sobbing._

**ELIZABETH:** _(looks around but can't see WILL and NORRINGTON)_ I can't go any further in this darkness! And I don't know the way. _(strolls over to a little hill, not far from where WILL is lying, and sits down)_ I will stay here and get some rest, hoping that Will comes to his senses. _(sighs)_ Oh, Will. What's the matter with you? _(falls asleep near WILL)_

_Enter JACK, extremely unhappy._

**JACK:** _(desperately)_ Oh, bloody hell. This night's killin' me. Can't see anythin' an' don't know where I'm goin'. _(sits down)_ But I've learned me lesson. Better no stayin' with those who don't appreciate me presence. _(buries his head in his hands, sobbing)_ Oh, Jamie... M'love... I wish he'd killed me. Tha' way 'e'd at least 've given me some attention. _(sighs and lies down)_ Maybe the night 'as mercy on ol'Jack. _(falls asleep)_

 **DJINN:** _(appears from behind the bush)_ On the ground  
Sleep sound:  
I'll apply  
To your eye,  
Gentle lover, remedy. _(moves towards NORRINGTON, pulls out the flower, then stops, takes a look around, slaps himself on the head and goes to WILL, putting the juice of the green flower on his eyelids, chanting)_  
When thou wakest,  
Thou takest  
True delight In the sight  
Of thy former lady's eye:  
And the country proverb known,  
That every man should take his own,  
In your waking shall be shown. _(grins, blows fairy dust around him and disappears)_

_Exit DJINN._

\-------------

** Scene 3: Bo'sun's cabin on the _Black Pearl_. **

_BO'SUN is lying in his hammock with RAGETTI, who is clutching him, cuddling him and caressing the hair that has grown on his head from the enchantment._

**RAGETTI:** _(fondly)_ Oh, m'luv, ya 'ave such beautiful cheeks! _(caresses BO'SUN's cheeks)_  An' those large ears! Jus' the nicest me's seen in me life!

 **BO'SUN:** _(drowsily, scratching his cheeks, noticing the hair there)_ Mmmm, I should go to the barber's, 'm all 'airy! An' me's such a tender ass, if the 'air's ticklin' me I must scratch! _(goes on scratching)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(smiling at BO'SUN)_ Are ya hungry, m'luv? Could get ya somethin' if ya want!

 **BO'SUN:** _(cuddling close to RAGETTI)_ Oh, I could really munch yer oats! _(looks at RAGETTI, smiles back)_ Got a feelin' tha' I could do wit' some good 'ay. There's no fellow fer tha', ya know!

 **RAGETTI:** _(stands up)_ Alright, luv, I'll get ya the 'ay!

 **BO'SUN:** _(yawning)_ Oh, 'm gettin' sleepy. Better no eatin' then.

 **RAGETTI:** _(nods)_ Then fer breakfast, luv! _(crawls back into the bed to BO'SUN, cuddling him close)_ Sleep tight!

 **BO'SUN:** _(kissing RAGETTI's cheek)_ Night. _(yawns, then falls asleep)_

 **RAGETTI:** _(kissing him back, mumbling sleepily)_ Oh, how me luvs ya. How me adores ya. _(falls asleep)_

_Enter PINTEL, quietly watching them._

_After a while, enter DJINN._

**PINTEL:** _(whispers to DJINN)_ Do ya see tha'? _(giggles)_ But me's startin' feelin' sorry for 'im. 'E's a good lad, me Ragetti. Annoyin', aye, but I do luv 'im. _(pauses)_ An' as for tha' bloody monkey, sod 'im. Can't find 'im anyway. Maybe 'e's buggered off. _(shrugs)_ So will ya cure me Ragetti now?

 **DJINN:** _(bows and goes to RAGETTI, pulling out the green flower, humming)_ Be as thou wast wont to be;  
See as thou wast wont to see:  
Dian's bud o'er Cupid's flower  
Hath such force and blessed power. _(drops the flower's liquid on RAGETTI's eyelids, then goes back to PINTEL)_

 **PINTEL:** An' wha' 'bout the Turner lad?

 **DJINN:** _(nods eagerly)_ With remedy of greenish hue,  
Enchantment's broke, and all is fair;  
That, he awaking when the other do,  
May to Port Royal back again repair  
And think no more of this night's accidents  
But as the fierce vexation of a dream.

 **PINTEL:** _(satisfied)_  All's well then.

 **DJINN:** _(bows and vanishes)_

_Exit DJINN._

**PINTEL:** _(puts the lamp back into the sea chest and walks over to where RAGETTI and BO'SUN are sleeping before shaking RAGETTI awake)_ Wake up, mate!

 **RAGETTI:** _(groans and wakes up)_

 **PINTEL:** _(hugs him tightly)_ How are ya feelin'?

 **RAGETTI:** _(puts a hand to his front, feeling dazzled)_ 'M no well. Methought me was in luv wit' an ass!

 **PINTEL:** _(points a finger to the other side of the hammock)_ There lies yer luv.

 **RAGETTI:** _(winces, shocked)_ Wha's happened?

 **PINTEL:** _(amicably)_ Don't ya worry now, me darlin'. 'Tis goin' t'be alright. _(takes a few steps away from him, waiting)_ Will ya come wit' me?

 **RAGETTI:** _(looks at BO'SUN, then at PINTEL, apologetically)_ Me's so sorry! First the monkey an' now... this...

 **PINTEL:** Me's sorry, too. Should've spent mo' time wit' ya!

 **RAGETTI:** _(climbs out of the hammock and hugs PINTEL)_ 'M luvin' ya.

 **PINTEL:** _(pulls RAGETTI close)_ 'M luvin' ya, too. Always have!

_Exit PINTEL and RAGETTI._

_Enter DJINN._

**DJINN:** _(rummages in his pocket, takes out the red flower, moves towards BO'SUN and puts a few droplets of the liquid on BO'SUN's eyelids)_ Now, when thou wakest, with thine own fool's eyes peep. _(chuckles)_

_Exit DJINN._

\-------------

 **Scene 4: The woods.**  
  
_Thanks to DJINN's efforts, the couples are lying close to each other in the grass, naked, only covered with leaves and flowers. WILL is holding ELIZABETH in his arms and NORRINGTON has put an arm around JACK. It is early in the morning and they are still sleeping._  
  
_Enter GILLETTE, GROVES and SWANN._  
  
**SWANN:** _(relieved)_ Here you are, Elizabeth! I have looked everywhere for you!  
  
**JACK:** _(opens his eyes, notices the shapely hand lying on his belly, his eyes widen, and as he turns around to see NORRINGTON, his face lights up in surprise and joy)_  
  
**GROVES:** _(approaches GILLETTE and whispers in his ear)_ I thought St. Valentine's Day was past. _(giggles)_  
  
**GILLETTE:** _(starts giggling, too)_ Oh yes, these birds seem to begin coupling a bit late.  
  
**SWANN:** _(gives GILLETTE and GROVES a curt glance, then addresses the couples firmly and loudly)_ Will you stand up?  
  
_They all stand up, blushing, NORRINGTON behind JACK and WILL behind ELIZABETH, his hands on her shoulders. ELIZABETH is covering her nakedness with pieces of cloth, JACK doesn't bother with proprieties and flaunts his naked glory._  
   
**SWANN:** _(to WILL and NORRINGTON)_ Commodore. Mr Turner. I know you are rival enemies. So how come that you are lying here, in gentle accord?  
  
**WILL:** I'm sorry, sir. Speaking for myself, I really have no idea. But I suppose I have come here with Elizabeth to save her from a marriage that would have destroyed her life. _(glances at NORRINGTON)_ And -  
  
**GILLETTE:** _(interrupting)_ Governor, I think you have heard enough. He attempted to abduct your daughter and he betrayed Commodore Norrington and therefore he should be hanged!  
  
**GROVES:** _(to GILLETTE, insisting)_ Now, hold on! It seems to me that Commodore Norrington wishes to speak as well!  
  
**SWANN:** _(nodding at NORRINGTON)_  
  
**NORRINGTON:** Speaking in my behalf, I have no choice but to offer my deepest apologies for what has transpired here. But I must declare that things have changed. I don't know which power it was - but it must have been some power - that made me lose my affection for Miss Swann... _(pauses)_ \- and acknowledge my true feelings for Jack Sparrow here. _(pulls JACK close to him, as if in protection)_  
  
**JACK:** _(surprised, turns around and hugs NORRINGTON tight)_ Jamie!  
  
**SWANN:** _(clears throat)_ Er, very well. Will you excuse us for a moment? _(nods to GILLETTE and GROVES)_  
   
_SWANN, GILLETTE and GROVES take a few steps away from the two couples and stop behind a tree where they can't be heard or seen by the others._  
  
**SWANN:** _(to GILLETTE and GROVES)_ Officers, I need your help. I love my daughter, I dote upon her. I don't want to see her unhappy. But I sincerely doubt that the blacksmith can make her happy. He is not in a good position socially - and he is practically a pauper!  
  
_GILLETTE and GROVES look at each other, then they nod._  
  
**GROVES:** _(eagerly)_ Sir, If I may be so bold, your daughter is really happy with Will Turner. And the Commodore has exonerated her from her promise. We should not part the young lovers now.  
  
**GILLETTE:** _(sincerely)_ Fate knows what she is doing, Governor.  
  
**SWANN:** _(sighs, ponders a while, then nods)_ I suppose you are right.  
  
_They go back to the couples._  
  
**SWANN:** _(smiling)_ You are lucky, all of you. _(gives ELIZABETH a fond look)_ Elizabeth, I'm so sorry that I didn't see it before, but you look happier than ever, my dear!  
  
**ELIZABETH:** _(runs to SWANN and glomps him)_ Thank you, father!  
  
**WILL:** _(notices that nothing covers his nakedness now, starts looking for a piece of cloth on the floor)_  
  
**NORRINGTON:** _(relieved, to SWANN)_ Thank you, sir. _(kisses JACK on the cheek)_  
  
**JACK:** _(smiles happily at NORRINGTON, kisses him back, then he folds his hands and thankfully bows his head to SWANN)_  
  
**WILL:** _(has found a piece of cloth, goes to SWANN and shakes his hand)_ Thank you, Governor Swann. _(embraces ELIZABETH)_  
  
**SWANN:** _(winks at WILL and ELIZABETH)_ So I guess we will have a double marriage then. _(laughs)_ We shall see who makes the prettier bride, my dear daughter Elizabeth or my dear betrothed Mary!  
  
**GILLETTE:** Sir, what about the Commodore and Sparrow?  
  
**SWANN:** _(chuckles and winks at Gillette)_ I suppose we haven't seen them, have we?  
  
**GILLETTE:** _(nods, smiling)_ I don't think I have.

 **GROVES:** _(grins)_ Nor have I.

 **SWANN:** Well, I suggest we all go back to Port Royal now! We have a lot to prepare!  
  
_Exit SWANN, WILL and ELIZABETH._  
  
**GROVES:** _(to NORRINGTON and JACK, smiling)_ The best of luck to you both.  
  
**NORRINGTON:** _(smiles at GILLETTE and GROVES)_ And to you both. _(winks)_  
  
**GILLETTE and GROVES:** _(dumbfounded)_ Sir?  
  
**NORRINGTON:** _(laughs)_ Oh, come on. Do you think I'm blind?  
  
**GROVES:** _(surprised, to GILLETTE)_ He knew!  
  
**NORRINGTON:** _(smiling)_ It's rather obvious.  
  
**JACK:** _(cuddles NORRINGTON)_ Ya know, the commodore's got an eye for these things! _(grins)_  
  
**GILLETTE:** _(still a little puzzled but glad)_ Thank you, sir. Farewell!  
  
**GROVES:** _(smiles)_ Goodbye!  
  
_GILLETTE and GROVES walk towards the path by which SWANN, WILL and ELIZABETH left the scene previously. Before they disappear, their hands meet._  
  
_Exit GILLETTE and GROVES._  
  
**NORRINGTON:** _(looks at JACK, smiling)_ Now, Captain, where to?  
  
**JACK:** _(grins)_ Well, luv, I vaguely remember tha' I got a ship t' win back... _(winks and takes NORRINGTON by the hand)_  
  
_Exit JACK and NORRINGTON._  
  
_Enter DJINN._  
  
**DJINN:** _(chanting)_ If we shadows have offended,  
Think but this, and all is mended,  
That you have but slumber'd here  
While these visions did appear. _(winks)_  
And this weak and idle theme,  
No more yielding but a dream,  
Gentles, do not reprehend:  
if you pardon, we will mend:  
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,  
We will make amends ere long;  
Else the Djinn a liar call; _(grins)_  
So, good night unto you all.  
Give me your hands, if we be friends,  
And Djinni shall restore amends. _(chuckles)_  
  
_Exit DJINN._

**~ The End. ~**

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on 8th-Oct-2004 11:51 pm.  
> The characters (except for the Djinn and Mary) are Disney's, the plot and the Djinn's words are Shakespeare's.


End file.
